I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
