i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
