i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
porn star boner night. come get it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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