u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
