you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just pynch a tree in the face
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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