did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
