you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
