**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize