Porn is love you can see.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
