my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Are we still banned from the library?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
