remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
