I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
