I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
