I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
