i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
