Just cropdusted the office
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
