i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
