i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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