Having a random hookup so left but love u
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
