like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
