I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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