the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
