i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Houston, we have a blender
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
