so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
