All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
