Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
