You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
