i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
