So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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