brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
