We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
