dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
