just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
