One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
