did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize