and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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