But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
