Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
