All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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