That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
