How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
