Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
