True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Panties = found
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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