We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
