Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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