Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
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