i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
