Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
