There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
