i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she looked like the before picture.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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