I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize