i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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