you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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