I hate your face
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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