...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize