A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
