So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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