she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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