i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
