I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize