The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
