I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize