why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
